Too much Tinky Winky makes you gay

Amsterdam mix - for James, originally uploaded by CharlesFred.

These chaps who are on a stag do in Amsterdam have probably been watching too much Teletubbies, the way they walk around dressed in pink, carrying bags around the place as if they were Tinky Winky. Who knows how many of them have been turned gay by that subversive BBC programme for toddlers?

This would appear to be one of the latest worries for the Polish government as they boldly try to stem the tide of homosexuality. We heard yesterday that Ewa Sowinska, head of the government-sanctioned children's rights watchdog in Poland, has expressed concerns about the character Tinky Winky and said she would ask psychologists for advice. "I noticed Tinky Winky has a lady's purse, but I didn't realise he's a boy." "At first I thought the purse would be a burden for this Teletubby ... Later I learned that this may have a homosexual undertone."

She may have a point here. I never watchd Teletubbies as a toddler myself, being far too old for that, but I do know that when we lived in Beirut one of my first adventures at the tender age of three was to wander off to the local shop with my granny's purse to buy myself an ice cream.. and look where I ended up! At least I do not walk around town dressed in pink.